2008 September | uBERgroover.tv

After my disappointment with my last two attempts to get down and dirty with some serious dancing to some funky beats this weekend, I was afraid I lost the music within me. I began mourning my clubbing years – what was. When I look back and think about it now, it has been 11 years since my first nightclubbing experience. Does that make me old? I don’t think so. I started clubbing from the age of 15. Surely there’s an expiry date? That’s what I kept telling myself because there had to be a reason for me not feeling it this weekend…and it is what allowed me to begin slipping into my all consuming mourning.

Then there are the untimely and random incidents where I break into dance, grooving in my seat or strutting down the street in rhythm to my music. It really does not fit, until I’m riding on the train one day and I break out my oldskool tunes on my iPod, classics by Faithless, Arman Van Helden and The Prodigy. Suddenly I’m holding myself back from standing up and raising my hands to the roof of the train carriage. I feel this ball of electric energy, sparkling small stars stirring at the base of my spine, slowly building up and rising through my back, up my torso and neck and then making its escape down my arms and through my hands and head. It’s a feeling, a release of energy I only get through dancing…but it’s so much more than that. It is a spiritual, religious experience where music is the mantra, the club is my temple and the DJ my god.

I have been reading about meditation recently, in fact I have tried meditating many times and more recently during my yoga course. I was never any good at it, my mind always wanders and I get frustrated, resulting in increased anxiety rather than the desired enlightenment. I read enlightenment be described as a snake coiled at the base of the spine, or a ball of light energy that unravels almost gradually. Having never achieved enlightenment through meditation or yoga I did not lose hope but instead accepted that it may take a lot more training and/or time and I would probably achieve it when least expected.

It all snapped into place this instance on the train though. I have been looking at it all wrong: not realizing that I have achieved enlightenment several times and over a span of years. In addition, it has almost always happened on the dance floor, in moments of pure joy and solitude, being lost in the music and the surroundings, this experience of divine love shared by the universe and all its constituents. Like all the yogis tell me, enlightenment is sacred moments of this feeling with the ultimate goal being to have the ability to experience this feeling constantly. It’s overwhelming even trying to imagine being this happy all the time. I still have not given up hope though and at least I am getting closer to the truth. I now know why I’m also obsessed with music: it is my tool, in combination with dancing that unlocks enlightenment, happiness and the constant being in the present moment. It all makes sense now…

Angela Lymberis

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